I haven’t quite figured this one out yet. In one sense I have experienced God providing for me especially in times of trouble. God gives me incredible strength to carry on! I’m not going to lie, I feel very tired and almost burned out sometimes. I burn my candle at both ends and just keep going. I know many in ministry feel the same way. We deal with a lot of emotionally heavy things. When you choose to minister to people you choose to walk with them in their pain. Someone once told me this is how we are most like Jesus, entering into the suffering of others. When we reach out to a broken world we see how sin has ravaged families and children. I’ve chosen to use my home to minister to teens ravaged by their parent’s damaging choices. I’ve seen a lot. I need Rest, the spiritual rest that only God can give. When I started out in ministry I used to attend a silent retreat once a year. This was the most refreshing time for me to read, pray and just be quiet. When we STOP we can be amazed at what comes to the surface of our soul. Many people are afraid of silence because it reveals thing we need to deal with. Sometimes those are hurts, sometimes sins. It’s not a fun process. I find it’s healthy and freeing to do this and I need this! When I started doing foster care it was too much to leave my kids so I stopped this form of self-care ministry of going to a silent retreat. I especially loved attending meals with all those pastors in ministry and nobody saying anything to anyone. We would just smile to one another, sit together with our books, eat, pray and ponder. God spoke into my life so powerfully in these weeks. Now that my kids are older and I’m married, this opportunity can once again be a part of my spiritual walk. I’m craving alone time. I want to be the best I can be for God, my family and my people!
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